22 September 2009

Blueprints or Anatomy Lessons. aka. every time I felt it.

Because of the look on your face that night we were playing in the ocean.
Because I am not good at casual conversation and you always understood my desire to be alone with you. 
Because I understand your body. 
Because I trust your instincts. 
Because You call at all the right times. 
Because you just needed to talk to me before going to bed. Because of those levi's and their impossible color...and years later, that's the first thing I think about when I hear your name or Canada.
Because you would groan in my ear over my tan lines. 
Because you always surprise me. 
Because you say the most ordinary things. 
Because you like the noise pigeons make when they are together. 
Because you waited over two hours for my call. 
Because you always wanted more. 
Because you borrowed my underwear. 
Because they said it would never work, and it didn't. (but we wanted it to). 
Because whatever part of me is really good came out every time you were around.
Because of Peanut butter, veggie burritos, hot summers and Mexico. 
Because you wrote and said life wasn't as good without me. Because the world looked like a dickens novel from my bedroom window that night and years later, looking as handsome as anyone I have EVER seen, you still remembered. 
Because I have no choice.
Because you surprise the shit out of me. 
Because you sucked on my fingers. 
Because we agreed it was nothing, but you still sent postcards and music for five years. 
Because you made me tea and drew a map. 
Because you held my hand the entire cab ride home. 
Because you were so crabby without your coffee and that's when it would hit me how much I loved you. 
Because you did it regardless of what I said or thought. Because you made me wear your ugly sweater that chilly night we were feeding ducks even though I wasn't cold. 
Because you were brilliant and beautiful and you still chose me. 
Because you couldn't keep yourself from staring at me. 
Because you realized you were wrong and apologized a billion years after the fact. 
Because you are a mommas boy. 
Because you taught me how. 
Because I like hands that are bigger than mine. 
Because you have the softest lips and the sweetest face. Because stray cats are drawn to you. 
Because we sat on a hill and you convinced me I could fix my broken life. 
Because you are the hardest worker I know. 
Because you handled every part of me with surprise. 
Because you had to clean up after work. 
Because you wrote "I love you" on that napkin instead of saying it. 
Because of our "contests" . 
Because you came running after me in the rain when I thought it was over. 
Because t shirts cling to you. 
Because you introduced me to all of your friends on our second date. 
Because you take the most beautiful photo's. 
Because you surprised me with that expensive book when I had given up. 
Because of the Pet Shop Boys. 
Because it was a two hour train ride to see you and I was always excited. 
Because Paris is just ours. 
Because you were fearless about getting into the water. Because you said "what do we have here?" the first time you saw it.  
Because you can't wait to hear what I think. 
Because you wrote the softest things on my back when I was falling asleep. 
Because you are so eager to tell me what you are thinking. Because you are so comfortable with your body.
Because your smell makes me insane. 
Because I had never been before you.

1 comment:

  1. This is the most beautifully-written piece I have read in a long time. It's beautifully depressing. It reminded me of what I wish I had known. I, now, need a nap to digest that.

    Interesting blog, to say the least, Jeffrey.