dissipating ennui

the moment we met, i knew we would spend some part of our lives together. I didn't discourage it, or wish it into being.  Whatever this flesh of ours is born knowing, it knew the minute i saw you. Our relationship came about naturally, without dreams or desire.  

it's October, and the days are getting shorter. Once again my room is all flickering candles and Midlake songs, and sometimes you still come by with such short notice. I saw you last night so differently. what was it, and what was it that i was feeling when you left? just as I was smelling my pillows, you texted to ask  "why do you always smell so good, what is it?, it's on me and I can't stop thinking about you"    

I fell asleep that night so happy and warm, dreaming of snow.